Once Upon A House Decor Contest
by BellatrixLestrangey
Summary: Regina and Gold compete in a Halloween contest in which they must decorate their houses. The two are long time rivals in this contest and Regina is determined to end his winning streak!


"I can't let him win again." Regina muttered. "Every single year he wins."

"Mom, I think you may be taking this to seriously."

Regina turned to Henry. "He's cheating. He has a whole shop full of nifty décor and he doesn't even put it up for sale to the public. It's disgusting."

"Mr. Gold has done a lot worse than beat you in a house decorating contest." Henry pointed out.

"Does it on Christmas too! What kind of person cheats in a _Christmas_ contest! Last year's Christmas contest was the worst…"

Henry let her continue talking.

"Just ask Granny. Granny is mad too!"

"You're damn right." Granny kicked the door to Regina's mansion open. "Every year I pimp out that diner to the very best of my ability. This year I turned the whole building into a 'spider's den' and for good measure I broke into Ruby's jewelry box and hung the precious gems in the webs!"

"See Henry! Granny is working really hard. Her idea is brilliant. It should win…but nooo, Mr. Gold is going to swoop in and ruin everything!"

"You're décor is rather spiffy Madam Mayor." Granny remarked taking in the scenery.

The mayor had gone to work, she'd made sure to get even the smallest details. For instance, her grand piano was now missing a few keys (she'd fix that with magic later) and covered in dust and cobwebs. As of the lighting more cobwebs hung from the chandeliers and each lamp in the house had a new batty cover. Some of them even had cracked light bulbs.

Regina had splashed random splotches of blood on the walls and the tiles. She'd even made some trap doors and opened up some secret tunnels behind bookshelves. She put her potion bottles on the table and in the cabinets for Christ's sake!

Even more impressive than the interior was the exterior; Regina had taken special care to decorate her trees with only the most authentic props—she went all the way into her vault, carried out a bunch of hearts and hung them in the trees.

Of course a few people got a little greedy and stole them back…that or Mr. freaking Gold got jealous and took them…

She'd have to interrogate the imp for that one.

"Henry, did you carve your pumpkin yet? I need to have at least one on the porch." Regina looked to the boy again. Her other pumpkins lined the rooftop creating quite the spectacle.

"Yes mom, it's already there." Henry replied. "Biggest one on the porch."

"But it isn't bigger than the one in the left corner of our front yard? The one that has the bale of hay by it…and the scarecrow."

"No mom, it's not bigger than that one." Henry rolled his eyes.

Sassy teenage boys…Regina thought to herself.

"I also bought these neat orange Christmas lights, decorated the porch, the railings, and the bale of hay with them." Henry pointed to the stairwell."

Regina couldn't be more proud.

"That reminds me…gotta replace the lights outside my shop with the batty ones." Granny recalled.

"Already done Granny." Ruby smiled. She had hoped that if she impressed Granny with her keen decorating skills that she'd get the night off so she could attend that sexy Halloween costume. She had the best sexy cop costume.

"Hey mom?" Henry interrupted. "Emma wants to know if I could help she Mary, and David. They've got this really cool abandoned farm theme going on."

"I'm sure Mrs. Swan is capable of decorating her own apartment...rather decorating her mother's apartment." Regina pointed out. "Besides those three have each other and the pirate. I only have you because Robin thinks that his 'haunted forest' idea is actually worthwhile. Doesn't he know that, that forest is already haunted!?"

"Actually, Hook is decorating his ship…gonna be a ghost ship." Henry informed Regina.

"What a cliché, he's going to lose." Regina smirked. "Henry, can you do me a favor?"

"Sure I can go refill the candy corn bowl, but you really have to stop eating it all…"

"Elsa was eating it too. And besides, that's not what I want. I need you to go figure out what plans Gold has for his silly shop."

"He's actually decorating Belle's library with her this year." Henry replied. "What's Elsa doing here."

"Learning to decorate from the master Henry, that's what she's doing here. Anyhow, do go see what Gold is up to."

"If I do, you have to go trick-or-treating with me dressed as Disney's Snow White."

Regina's eyes narrowed. "If we win the décor contest, you have yourself a deal."

"Operation black cat begins now!" Henry announced as he walked out the door.

"Alright Elsa. Now that we have some alone time…I think it is time for you to learn all the greatest secrets in the art of house decorating." Regina decided. The icy girl nodded and followed Regina outside.

Henry walked down the block taking in all the sights. His favorite house had these mini-tombstones out front. But that was about as exciting as it got. Most just had a few strings of lights hung in the trees or some paper pumpkins plastered to the windows.

Grumpy informed him somewhere down the road that the dwarves had turned their mine into 'the Haunted Dwarf Caverns' if he wanted to go check it out. The offer was tempting, but he was determined to help his mom win…mostly so she would just drop it next year.

"Welcome to my haunted library." Belle greeted Henry.

"Thanks Belle. Is Mr. Gold here?"

"Not at the moment. I think he's getting some stuff from his shop." Belle replied.

"Like what?" Henry questioned.

"Well I told him that since his name is Rumplestilskin, which people shorten to Rumps…and 'rump' means butt, that he should go find a bunch of butt shaped pumpkins and put them all over the library. I'm not sure if he's going to listen though…but wouldn't it just be hilarious if you were browsing for books and suddenly you find a mini-booty pumpkin!"

Henry snickered…that was brilliant…too brilliant. "That's an amazing idea Belle, but my mom has this odd obsession with winning this contest…so maybe you should use a less amazing idea." He tried to muster up an innocent smile.

"Don't worry. I heard the judges this year are biased…and most of them don't like humorous things anyhow." Belle whispered. "Rumple better hurry back, the judges are about to get here." She added.

By the time midnight rolled around everyone had long since put on their finishing touches, and the judges rose from their graves. Each contestant was waiting eagerly outside city hall for the judges to announce the winners.

Peter Pan was the first to arrive at the microphone. "I would like to start by saying that Killian Jones had the most appalling ship décor I have ever seen. Followed closely by Rumplestilkin."

"Told you they were biased." Belle leaned in and mumbled to Henry.

"However, Granny's diner was most marvelous. My vote goes to Granny's diner and spider lounge!"

"My vote goes to Regina Mills." Cora declared.

"You didn't even look at all the houses." Pan grumbled.

"I didn't need to." Cora replied. "Clearly my daughter's is the best." This earned a snide smile from Regina…a smile cast in Mr. Gold's direction. The man promptly flipped her the bird and folded his arms over his chest.

"Our next judge is Daniel." Archi beckoned him to the microphone.

"I'm totally going to win this one." Regina nodded at Henry in approval.

"So I honestly had a really hard time deciding…these houses…diners…libraries…ships…forests…."

"We get the point, there were lots of different entries, get on with it!" Cora demanded of her would-be son-in-law.

"Well, all of these houses were truly fabulous. I enjoyed each and every one for a different reason. However my vote goes to the library…sorry Regina…but dem ass-pumpkins…hot damn!"

"I cursed a kingdom for you!" Gina shouted. "And you betrayed me!"

"Since it is apparent that our judges are not going to come to an agreement…as they all kind of hate each other, or each other's choice…we will turn the vote to the general public; who do you think should win?" Archie asked.

"Please don't pick Granny! She doesn't need any more awards to brag to costumers about!" Ruby winced.

"Please vote for my mom so we can just end this madness!" Henry shouted.

Minutes ticked by as the citizens of Storybrooke cast their votes. At 12:30 sharp Archie was tallying the votes.

"It would appear that Robin Hood and his haunted forest win the contest." Archie announced.

Regina let out a deep sigh. "Oh well…at least Rumple's streak was broken. Come on Henry, let's go home."

"Oh come on, but I thought the hearts were a nice touch." Cora muttered.

"Robin had them too." Daniel pointed out.

"ROBIN!" Regina yelled.


End file.
